When you’re single, it seems the world is constantly throwing romance in your face. When you’re in a relationship, you’re so caught up in your own that you don’t even notice everyone else’s around you. But when you are single, that’s when you truly notice it. All the couples holding hands, sharing kisses, or rubbing each other’s backs. All of your acquaintances/friends have started seeing someone. Seeing it around you makes you sit there and say: “Fuck, I need a drink and a gun. For myself.”
Last night, I hung out with my friends, Carter and Molly. Carter and Molly met at my birthday get-together I hosted back in June. From then-on-out, they were calling each other every single day. They’ve officially decided to go exclusive a few days ago. Which, I was very happy about. Carter and Molly are some of my favorite people. Both of them are reserved and kind with the same “vibe”, so it’s perfect. Anyway, the three of us decided to have a mall day and grabbed some dinner. After that, we decided to go back to Molly’s house to watch a movie.
Everything was going fine. We put on “Ice Age” since Carter had never seen it. The three us cuddled together, laughing; Saying over and over again, “this is so cringe” as I wrapped my arms around both of them. They both laid their heads on my chest. I didn’t notice anything, until Carter reached for Molly’s hand. Their hands interlocked as we continued to watch the movie. I didn’t think anything of it, really. I just thought about how great of a matchmaker I was. I wanted to go home, brag to my parents about how amazing their daughter is and make myself a margarita to congratulate myself. But later that night when I was in my own bed, it had me thinking differently.
Have I officially become the third-wheel?
Being the third-wheel is something we all actively try to avoid. For those of you who may not understand this term, a third-wheel is someone who lingers around a couple. It begins to feel like you’re intruding on their relationship. Like when a friend cockblocks you and you have no choice but to “take the L” and give up. It’s like that, but a little more tame.
Thinking about it, nearly all of my friends are getting into relationships: Carter and Molly, Brianna and Jacob, Trent and Carly, Madeline and Kameron. Does this mean that if I tag along with them on anything, I would be a third-wheel? Even if I am invited, am I meant to say no? What if I am friends with both of them, what rules apply in that scenario?
What exactly makes someone a third-wheel?
The concept of the “third-wheel” has been around for as long as we know it, and there’s a reason. The friend that tags along with the couple prevents them from truly acting the way they want. The couple has to be more mellow on the PDA and the words of affirmation. They must do everything to keep the third-wheel friend comfortable. Even if the friend is invited, they must be considerate. The friend may not even give two-shits, but it doesn’t matter. When it comes down to it, the hangout is about the friend, and not the couple. Everything becomes about the third-wheel in that scenario.
Now, look at it from the perspective of the third-wheel. As someone who has been in this situation too many times, it can feel really fucking weird. Especially if you have the shittiest love life on the planet. It almost feels as if you are intruding and ruining a “date”. It’s like when parents wanted date night but couldn’t find a babysitter, so they’re forced to bring their children along. Or when you watch your parents kiss, and you just feel grossed out. It’s kind of like that. It can really suck. You’re happy for your friend, but sometimes you wish you had just stayed home. Because at least if you had stayed home, you could’ve had your own date; in bed with your left-hand. All jokes, but you get my point.
I decided to go on a walk this morning to clear my thoughts. However, I just couldn’t. This idea was rocking my brain too much. When I really think about it, does the concept of the third-wheel actually exist? Or is it just that society takes pity on single people? Because if it was two couples together, no one would think anything of it. But because there’s one single person, people immediately jump to “third-wheel” or “the friend the couple can’t get rid of it.” There’s even the joke of “oh, that’s the friend the couple has made their adopted child.” Either way, this all comes back to how society views single people: hopeless and sad. Maybe even a little annoying.
In conclusion, at the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter. It doesn’t matter if you’re single or in a relationship. Because if you’re friends really love you, they won’t make you feel like a nuisance. They will stick by your side until you have a person of your own. So, who cares if you are their “adopted child”? Hangout with those friends and have a good time. Who knows, maybe one day the roles will be changed, and they’re going to need you too?