In 2024, it’s no mystery that college-aged kids are sort of obsessed with sex. When I went into my freshman year of college, I was immediately exposed to it. Girls down the hall of our dorm building sneaking boys in, boys in my classes talking about the girls they’ve hooked up with; Even the few frat parties on ZSU’s campus were really meant to be called: “sex searching” parties. I thought everyone who went to college was going to study their majors. Turns out, everyone who went to college was going to study one another’s genitalia.
Even in modern dating, taking hookup culture out of the mix, sex is still such a big deal. “Have you guys fucked yet?” and “When do you plan on fucking?” are two questions I’ve heard from my friends every time I’ve started talking to a guy. Which makes me assume that other people are asking their friends the same questions. And even though high schoolers are out having sex too, it’s not the same as college kids. This brings me down to my question:
Why are we, college kids, so obsessed with sex?
I feel like this is a topic that could give me several different answers. The scientific one: it’s all about hormones. Then we have the societal one: there are a lot of pressures to have sex, heavily on when your friends or classmates are out there doing it. Or we have the douchebag answer: “because sex feels good, now show me your tits.” Either way, sex can be seen as a good and bad thing. On one hand, it is all about relief and fun. People who engage in hookup culture might want a fun story to tell their friends, or legitimately see it as a way to take the edge off. Literally, “edge off”. But then there are the bad sides to it too. Such as people getting stuck in situations purely based on sex (aka situationships). It makes me think something else too:
Has our obsession with sex completely ruined the idea of romance? Is the “man laying his jacket over a wet puddle so his woman can walk over it” really dead? Or how about “the girl telling her parents that they can never stop her from loving a certain boy” dead too? Is Gen-Z just hopeless at this point? There are so many new questions popping into my head that might need fucking Albert Einstein to answer them. Sadly, he is dead; so, you all are stuck with me answering them instead.
I have mentioned before that I do my best thinking when I am on a walk, and I did just that. I walked around on the sidewalks of my neighborhood for 45-minutes. I brainstormed, divulging my questions and attempting to find answers to them. Hell, I even looked into the history on society and sex. I found that perhaps the “sexual revolution of the 1960s” may have played a part. Think about it. The revolution was all about breaking the stigma that sex was meant to be a secret and that it was shameful. It also broke the idea that everyone needed to wait until marriage. Afterward, sex became a more discussed topic. With that being said, the sexual revolution encouraged people to go out and have sex. And that brings us back to 2024 and how sex in society has evolved.
Now, how does this play a part with us college kids? My belief is that we see sex as something “grown up”. When we go to college, we are leaving behind our parents who are constantly looking over our shoulders. Because when we were teenagers having sex, we still needed to worry about getting home on time and buying condoms with cash so they wouldn’t know. But when we get to college, that goes away. We can spend the night at someone’s house. We can freely go out and buy those condoms, happily on our card. Sexual freedom is a real thing and truly happens when we get to college. I think that’s why young adults are so obsessed with it. It’s new, it’s exciting, even causes a little anxiety. It’s like going down a waterslide. You’re nervous and excited all at the same time, and there’s no one there but you until you’re in the pool at the end. And of course, that rush comes to an end until you want to do it again. Hence, hookup culture or sex with the person you’re seeing.
In conclusion, maybe romance isn’t really dead. We’re just all different people in different stages in our lives. We have different kinds of people: the “Carters” and the “Juans”. The “Carters” want to love and be loved, ready for commitment. The “Juans” want love but run away from it the moment things get too serious, so they go back to hookup culture. Either which way it goes, I like to believe romance isn’t really dead and sex isn’t the most important thing in the world. It’s just a dopamine rush to us young adults. Eventually, that will fade, then everyone will be ready for that love. I guess for right now though, sex is going to playing a part in any relationship while we are young. But you have the choice to declare just how important it is to you. Do not put yourself in a situation where you feel your body is all that matters. Because there is someone out there too who is also ready for romance. You will find them eventually all in good time.