It’s just about that time again for all college kids. It’s almost time to pack up your shit, leave home, and move to college. Some will be moving into an apartment barely bigger than their bedroom at home with a cockroach or two. Others will be living in a dorm with a roommate that snores too loud and no alone time so they can jerk it. Either way, college is right around the corner. Some of you who are reading are freshman and don’t really know what you’re getting yourself into. So here is me, AC Lane, ready to give you the advice you need. And by advice, I mean brutal honesty.
First major truth: you’re going to want to punch your roommate in the fucking face sometimes. My roommates, Alyssa and Molly, have most definitely thought about smothering me in my sleep at times. And the feeling has been mutual. It doesn’t matter if they are your best friend in the entire world, or some rando-exchange student from France. You are going to have moments where you wish you could throw a chair at them. The best advice I can give here is find times to be alone in the dorm. Second semester, Molly and I gave Alyssa 2.5-hours alone in the dorm on Tuesday and Thursday evenings. Then I got the mornings alone on those days. And honestly, it helped all of us out a lot. After learning one another’s boundaries, it made out friendships a lot stronger. In conclusion, give your roommate space if needed and respect each other’s boundaries. That last thing you want is to wake up to your roommate holding a pillow over your face.
Second major truth: you are not going to attend every class. You might tell yourself, “Oh, I am going to stay motivated and go to all my classes! Blah blah blah.” Yeah no, you fucking won’t. I can assure you of that. Unless attendance is mandatory, you will give up going by October. Because why keep going when you can sleep in? Go get lunch with friends? Or even go get a quick gym session in? Exactly. But that doesn’t mean to stop paying attention. If you’re going to not attend, you gotta make sure you’re keeping up with the homework and future exam dates. If you miss those, you’re screwed. Get online and do the work. “But AC Lane, my school doesn’t use an online base like that!” What the hell? Is your school set in 1850? You might need to transfer, bud. Kidding, I’m sure it’s a great school. Anyhow, take a sophomore’s advice and just keep up with the work. If you do that, you’re fine.
Third major truth: it’s lowkey hard to make friends. For some people, they make a huge friend group the first week of college. For others, they barely make a single friend the entire year. Don’t feel bad if you don’t make friends that easily, especially with other freshmen. Most first-year students are just as nervous as you are, hence making them too nervous to go out and socialize. Outside of my roommates, I didn’t really make friends until February, and that was Kaylee. She was the first person that truly cared about wanting to be my friends, while many others were just “borderline” friends. The best advice I can give is to put yourself out there. Don’t be afraid to strike up a conversation with the kid next to you in your accounting class. Or the kids that live in the room next to you in the dorm building. However, if you’re too anxious for that, then join a club. Alyssa and I joined ZSU’s Filipino Culture Club. I’m like 15% Filipino and she’s Vietnamese, but we were encouraged by my classmate, Jared, to join. We became friends with Jared and a girl named Kalista. But the club got us into parties and introduced us to a lot of people. They even showed us some cool spots on campus to get food and hangout. My third piece of advice to not be afraid to socialize. All you can do is try. Join a club too! It’ll help you out a lot.
Fourth major truth: romance is the hardest to figure out your freshman year. Nearly everyone I know found themselves in a relationship, situationship, or some sort of talking phase. Mine was a man named Juan Rivera. He was charming, fun, and swore up-and-down he wanted to be with me. Hell, he told me I was the woman he wanted to marry. That ended up being total bullshit and he actually didn’t give a shit about me. Anyhow, freshman relationships are very difficult. This is going to be the hardest thing to figure out. It’s your first real adult relationship, so you must look at it through a mature lens. My best advice is to make sure you both want the same thing. AND NEVER IGNORE THE RED FLAGS. If you see them, do not stay around. Otherwise, you’ll find yourself heartbroken.
That’s all the truths and advice this sophomore has for you. I’m sure you’ll be fine at college. Just be your amazing self and you’ll be alright. But I will tell you, you will never get through it without a good support system. I was lucky to have found my friends: Alyssa, Kaylee, Molly, and Carter. I’m not sure how I would have made it otherwise. Anyhow, good luck to you! Just have fun, that’s what it’s supposed to be!