The week is ending on a good note. A note that gives me a sense of optimism for the future. Lately, all I have been doing is complaining about my life and the way things went. I’ve been so caught up in my past that I haven’t given myself a chance to be caught up in my future. This last week has forced me to think a lot, not only about my past and future, but about my present too. Perhaps it was time to close the door to “what happened to AC Lane”; and time to open the door to “what might happen to AC Lane”.
On Sunday, I woke up at my dad’s house. We were meant to have a cookout with Mindy and her daughters the night before, but my dad decided against it. He decided that he preferred to just celebrate his birthday with me. And so, we went down to a Mexican restaurant where we ate too much for our own good. Then, we went home and “carb crashed” on the couch. The next morning, I left to go back to my mom’s house so I could get ready for work at the movie theater that evening. The movie theater had slow business that night due to it being a Sunday. I worked for six-hours in the concession stand until my managers sent me home at 10:30PM. After that, I changed into my pajamas and jumped into bed.
On Monday, I spent the entire day working. At the movie theater I work at, we make homemade cheddar and caramel popcorn. Along with our own homemade cotton candy. And guess who was in charge of making all of it for eight-hours? Me. Now this is truly the life of a college girl: working, contemplating her love life, and probably drinking a little more than she should. Moving on, I got off work at 8PM on Tuesday. I took a shower once I got home and then, I started shopping for items for my apartment. My roommates, Molly and Alyssa, haven’t exactly been the biggest help with this either. Truth, the three of us are nineteen and kind of clueless. Last night, I texted to them to see if they started picking out bedroom decorations yet. They hadn’t, so all of us were off to a late start. For me, I’ve decided on a “The Weeknd and Chase Atlantic” vibe to my room. Unfortunately, now that I think about it, I’m kind of worried it’s going to look more like a sex dungeon. I guess men will love me even more now, right? If my parents are reading this, I promise it’s a joke.
On Tuesday, I went over to my friend, Blaine’s house. Blaine and I go as far back as Freshman year of high school. He recently got back from a Summer study abroad in France and he had to tell me all about what he saw and the hot Frenchmen. It was good to catch up with him since it had been a while. Blaine is returning to college in a couple of weeks since he’ll be an RA this school year, so this was the last time we got to see each other. Blaine and I promised one another that we’d try and hangout over Winter Break. Literally too far away.
That evening, I met my good friend Carter at a food truck. Down the street from where I live, an Indian food truck opened up. It’s actually by a childhood friend of mine’s family. I was craving some butter chicken, so I knew I had to hit up the one person I could eat so much with and wouldn’t feel an ounce of guilt. Carter and I got butter chicken, rice, and naan to split while we sat outside. We chatted it up for a while. Now, my love life is pretty shitty at the moment. However, that doesn’t mean my friends need to suffer along with me. Carter and Molly (yes, my roommate Molly) met at my surprise birthday party a few weeks back. Alyssa and I immediately saw the vibe between them and had no choice but to plot a little further. One night, Carter and I were on the phone chatting it up. I decided to add Molly to the call for “shits and giggles”. Once Carter and Molly started talking like I wasn’t even there, I hung up and went to bed with a smile on my face.
While eating Indian food, Carter confessed to me that he had a crush on Molly. As if it wasn’t already obvious. I happily told him that the feeling was mutual; Molly liked him too. The man was blushing and giggling for the rest of the night. We went downtown in our city to grab some ice cream and walk around for a while. Carter and I talked about my failing love life and his newfound one until it was time for us to go home.
Late that night as I was setting my alarm for the next day, I suddenly got a text. It was from Miguel. Miguel and I had a falling out and hadn’t spoken in a week. But I got a text from him saying he would like to talk soon and to just call him when I was free. It made me feel hopeful.
On Wednesday, I worked in the morning. I was tired and business was slow. But I kept my head up because my luck was getting ready to turn around. I had a date that night with a boy named Michael. Michael was a frat boy with a smolder who attends Duke University. He’s only here for the Summer but looking date around. He asked me to ice cream on Wednesday night, so I couldn’t really pass that up. I worked until 5:30PM that night until I went home. I jumped in the shower, changed into some cute clothes (a red t-shirt and black shorts, to be exact), and did my makeup. I was all ready to go out. Before I left mmy house, I decided to give Miguel that call.
He answered the phone. At first, we made small talk about our days and how we had been doing. However, I don’t like to beat around the bush with people. I told Miguel we needed to address the elephant in the room, and we just needed to get it done and over with. We had a 30-minute heart-to-heart about our friendship. We both mutually agree we would try harder and wanted to save our friendship. I asked him if he wanted to hangout next Wednesday. And so far, he is available. It felt like such a relief to have talked things through. I hadn’t lost my oldest friend. That was a victory in itself.
As I was leaving, my mom gave me the usual talk of “don’t get in his car, stay in public” and more. My mom gave me this talk before every date, and I wouldn’t expect anything less. I got in my car and drove down to the local ice cream parlor. And just as I parked, I got a text from Michael.
“Hey, let’s do tomorrow instead. I had something come up.”
Michael, are you fucking serious? Ten minutes before our date? Literally, fuck my life.
I called Carter immediately. I was already at the ice cream parlor, and I did not want to go home after getting all ready. The guy was about to mow his lawn, but dropped it go hangout with me. And so, we got some ice cream and walked around like we had the night before. I know it may seem a little petty, but I have no interest in going out with Michael anymore. If you were in my spot, you’d be petty too. But I’m fine. That night, another dude from Hinge asked me out on Thursday night. His name is Brendan, he’s twenty-two, and an engineer. Of course, I couldn’t say no to dinner with him.
On Thursday, I went to a job fair with my best friend, Brianna, that morning. She just graduated high school and wants to be a flight attendant. There was an opportunity to talk to some flight attendants; of course, she really wanted to go. Her parents had to work and couldn’t make it, so I was next up in line. Brianna managed to get some advice and a business card from one of them. It was safe to say that she left the job fair with a grin. We went out to this buffet for a late lunch, then she dropped me back off at home. Not long after that, my friend Cassie called me to hangout. She claimed she had some news she wanted to share with me. And so, she came to pick me up while we did some grocery shopping. Yes, grocery shopping, we were bored.
Cassie told me that she scored a possible date with her crush, Carson. She has had a crush on him for the last year. Cassie hadn’t had any luck with getting him to pursue her and was low on luck. One day, she decided to get the balls to ask him out. And to her surprise, Carson said yes. They’re going to go workout together next week. It was fun seeing her all giddy and happy about it.
I smiled. “What if it is a date and he tries something?”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know,” I laughed. “A thumb up the butt?”
Cassie gasped. “AC! That’s insane!”
“Hey, might as well be ready for anything.” I shrugged. “Men will try little things just to see if you’re into it. And if you are, then they’ll try a little something further.”
“And you think he’s gonna put a thumb up my butt?”
“Of course not. I mean, anything’s possible though.”
While Cassie and I continued hanging out, I got a message from Brendan. I opened up Snapchat to see what he had said. Of course, it was just my luck.
“Hey, so bad news, I’m not sure what time I’m getting off tonight.”
Fuck my life. I messaged Brendan back and just told him to keep me updated. Cassie and I went back to my house to hangout for a little bit. We watched some TV and gossiped a little bit more about Carson. But I couldn’t help but watch my phone for an update from Brendan. After not hearing back for a couple of hours, I decided to call the date off. I messaged him and said:
“Hey, so it sounds like tonight isn’t gonna work out anyway. I have to work tomorrow too. Do you want to try and go out on Saturday night?”
It took Brendan awhile to answer back. I understood because he was working, but it still sucked. While Cassie and I were hanging out, I got a call from Molly. She and Carter were spending the day together at this museum out of state. I would call it a date, but they were with her parents, so I supposed it wasn’t really a date. Could it be? I didn’t even know. Anyhow, they texted me and asked if I wanted to go out for some late-night ice cream. I laughed and told Carter that we were both going to get fat before we went back to college. I said yes anyway. Cassie went home around 9PM that night; Carter and Molly came to pick me up around 10PM.
The three of us sat down in a both. Carter and Molly were showing me all kinds of photos they took while at the museum. It was cute, really. The way they looked at each other and laughed over little things from the museum. After we finished our ice cream, we decided to go back to my house to play some ping-pong in my basement. Carter and I screamed The Weeknd’s music in the car all the way there, meanwhile Molly sat there quietly. She isn’t a fan of his, but Carter was going to have to change that.
The three of us hung out for forty-five minutes in my basement. We played a little ping-pong. Then, we switched over to playing my dog, Mr. Poops. Carter kept giving me a little smirk. A smirk with a secret behind it.
“What?” I mouthed to him.
“I’ll call you later.” Carter blew me off. “We should talk.”
I immediately became nervous. What could it possibly have been? That’s when it hit me: Carter lost feelings. Or that was the conclusion I jumped to. If this was the case, how would I explain that to Molly? How could they continue to be friends? Fuck. Fuck. FUCK. FUCK MY LIFE.
Carter and Molly went home not too long after that. I went up to my bedroom and made myself a hot bath. It felt needed. With work, managing my friend’s love lives, and managing my own was all too stressful for me. I got in the bath, clearing my mind of all my thoughts. That was until I heard my phone start to ring. It was Carter. I didn’t hesitate to answer it.
“Hello?” I asked.
Carter exhaled. “AC, what are you doing?”
“Currently shaving my leg and thinking about my two failed dates in a row. How about you?”
“AC… I told Molly I liked her.”
I mean it when I say I gasped and squealed. Carter said he told her as soon as they pulled into Molly’s driveway to drop her off at home. She told him that she liked him back. Molly got out his car, and Carter called me right after. Just as the conversation was getting ready to get good, Carter’s parents called for him and he had to go. Once he hung up on me, Molly called me. She was telling me all about how Carter told her that he liked her. I noticed just how giddy they both were when they talked about that moment, and I couldn’t help but smile to myself. Carter and Molly, two of my amazing friends, found happiness with one another. I couldn’t be happier for them.
Yesterday, I woke up and went to a local coffee shop to write. This was a ritual I did once a week. I would by an iced vanilla latte per usual. Then, I would work on the next post for the blog for at least an hour. Once that was done, I would go on a one-hour long walk where I would just think everything over. My past, my present, and what the future might hold. It was therapeutic, really. It was in nature; down these walking paths my city had by the creek. After that, I went home and got ready for work. It was a 6-hour shift that would have been better if the theater hadn’t been so busy. Nevertheless, I pushed through until 11PM.
As for today, I have to go to work and put in more hours. However, for some reason, I woke up with some sort of epiphany. That it doesn’t matter what happened in the past, nor what might’ve been. Because I can’t change what happened. However, I can’t be too busy focusing on my future. If I spend too much time dwelling on it, I’ll be anxious forever. Right now, I can only focus on my present. Who AC Lane is now and what she will do next in her current life. And for right now, I’m appreciative for what I do have and the moments I’m currently living. Life is good when you’re young with good friends.