Just when you think “God, it can’t possibly get any worse!”, it somehow gets worse. As our generation says, literally fuck my life. This last week started on a good note. I had been hanging out with friends and putting in the work grind at the movie theater. The theater has still been busy because of all the new movies that had come out. But life was nothing out of the ordinary.
On Monday night, I went with my best friends, Trent and Brianna, to go see “Despicable Me 4”. Yeah, we went to go see a movie for children at our grown age. We have no regrets about it. At the movie theater, because we’re employees, we get free movies and concessions. The three of us each got our own popcorns, drinks, and candy. I can’t see a movie without a bag of peanut butter M&M’s. And Brianna and I can’t see a movie without stealing candy from one another. Anyway, the three of us went to our theater and sat down. The movie had us rolling the entire time. We laughed so hard nearly every five-minutes. Trent, being a twenty-year old man, found ways to make dirty jokes about the movie. Brianna and I couldn’t help but laugh at his stupid comments before rolling our eyes. After the movie was done, we got in Trent’s car, then headed back to my house.
It is important to note that Brianna and I almost saw God that night. The three of us had just been fucking around and doing stupid shit in his car. That is until Trent started going 75 MPH in my neighborhood. Brianna and I screamed as we laughed and held on to the handles in his car. Trent was laughing hysterically as he drifted his car around. It’s safe to say that we may never trust him to drive ever again. Nevertheless, we made it to my house a-okay. They stayed for about an hour before heading home. We talked about Brianna’s boyfriend Jacob, Trent’s talking stage Carly, and whatever I was doing on my dating apps. Everyone around me seems to be falling in love and getting play. I am not getting play; I just keep getting played. It can be lowkey depressing to watch yourself falling behind from everyone else. But the best thing I can do is to just keep going.
On Tuesday, I had to work at the movie theater for 8-hours. It was extremely that day. The line for concessions was out the door! My co-workers and I were having thoughts of killing ourselves to escape it. All jokes, but you get the picture. After work, my oldest friend, Miguel, had texted me and asked to talk. Miguel and I went as far back as the 8th grade. He was my longest friend. So, after work, I got in my car and called him. It started out light-hearted…until it wasn’t.
Miguel told me he didn’t want to be friends with me anymore.
He claimed that I didn’t make him a priority and he felt like he didn’t mean anything to me. I reassured him that wasn’t the case and that I love being friends with him. I’ve just been busy at work, switching between parent’s houses, and sometimes it’s easier just hanging out with my co-workers since I know what their schedules are. I apologized and said that I would try harder, but Miguel basically blew me off. He said he needed time to think. Like what the fuck? Miguel jumped off the phone before I could say anything after that. Had I been a shitty friend? That wasn’t the intention at all. I naturally keep low-maintenance friendships and I don’t feel the need to call or text them every day. I know that’s not a good excuse and obviously Miguel’s needs were not being met. I just wish he had tried to tell me this before just dumping me after 6-years of friendship.
I texted Brianna and I told her about the friendship breakup between Miguel and I. Thirty-minutes later, she randomly shows up at my house with a basket of gifts and a hug. We then went out for milkshakes and just gossiped for an hour. I don’t think she’ll ever understand how much she means to me. I talked to Trent about it a little the next day. That’s thing about having guy-friends though; Trent just made fun of me. He wasn’t exactly the most helpful. Love Trent anyway though.
On Wednesday, I drove downtown in the city to meet my friend, Rachel, from college. Rachel and I actually met through my ex-situationship Juan. She is his best friend’s roommate’s girlfriend. She works part-time at a pizza place on campus with her boyfriend, Devin, too. I have a plan to apply to the pizza place on campus too. She said that the place is always hiring, and I know people, so it shouldn’t be hard to get a job there, hopefully. Anyway, Rachel and I clicked immediately upon meeting and the rest was history. In our college friend group, she’s the only one from our home state. Of course, we just had to meet up at one point over the Summer. And what better way to do that than a shopping spree?
Rachel talked about Devin about 90% of time, which I didn’t mind. It would have bothered me before, but after Juan actually, I understood completely wanting to talk about your partner. We talked a little about working and going back to ZSU’s campus. We talked about my college best friend, Kaylee, some too (she’s spending the Summer in Arizona with some friends). Conversation was decently light until the inevitable question came up.
“So, if you don’t mind me asking, what happened between you and Juan?”
Literally, fuck me. I am finally at a point where I’m letting us go, yet people keep bringing it up. Or I keep bringing it up and people keep adding on to it. Maybe a mix of both? Anyhow, I decided to be mature and just shrug it off.
I faked a smile. “Juan and I just decided that our relationship wasn’t going anywhere. We simply weren’t compatible. But there’s no hard feelings.”
“Oh, well, that’s nice at least.” Rachel responded.
“No hard feelings”, my ass. The guy broke up with me so he can keep seeing other women. Yeah, I’m salty. You would be too. I plan on ignoring that man on campus next year. But if the universe provokes it, perhaps I’ll get the chance to punch him in the face. A woman can only hope, right?
Rachel and I hung out the mall for a couple more hours until she had to head home for a family event. I went home, kicked off my shoes, then jumped in bed. That is where I stayed for the rest of the evening. I’d been working a lot and the emotional turmoil in my life was becoming overbearing. I deserved to relax. Though, I was stressing about my life while in bed. So I suppose it’s not really relaxing, isn’t it? I don’t even know what’s going on in my life anymore.
I worked on both Thursday and Friday, but nothing eventful happened. I can’t stop thinking about Miguel and I’s situation. I wanted to reach out, but I knew that wasn’t for the best. He needs space to think about everything. I was just going to have to be patient for his response. In the meantime, it’s my dad’s birthday today so he is having a cookout. It should be a good distraction for the day. But just like every distraction. It’s good in the moment, however, you always end up back in the same loop. You’ll get left with your thoughts once more, and you’ll have no choice but to face your problems.