I’m convinced what ”situationships” are to Gen Z, are what ”fuck buddies” were to Millennials. As time goes on, I’ve noticed situationships are becoming more and more common. Especially, for our generation. What exactly defines a situationship though? How is it any different from a talking stage, or a regular relationship? We must break it down into bits.
A situationship, according to our good friend, ”Urban Dictionary”; is when two people act like partners and do all the things partners do but refuse to put a label on it. Unfortunately, it’s typically one person between the two that does not want the label. While one craves for love and commitment, the other person runs away. It is not a talking stage, as talking stages have the intention of going into a relationship later on. And it cannot be a relationship because as I have already stated, that requires a label. Why is it that young people are so afraid of commitment? Yet, we still long for that enjoyment and closeness like couples. But why?
I decided to go get some input from none other than my oldest friend, Miguel. Miguel and I go as far back as middle school. We have watched each other go through our awkward phases. Along with witnessing each other’s drama throughout our teenage years. Miguel is ”a lover, not a fighter”. He has hopes of becoming a psychiatrist one day and has been single for two-years now.
”People our age know that there’s a lot to life and commitment is a lot of work. Why would someone want to put a lot of responsibility on themselves?” Miguel acknowledged. ”Also, people are afraid of not meeting the other person’s expectations and vice versa. They believe they will be losing out on a lot of things because they choose to commit to someone. Commitment is a scary thing.”
Miguel had an excellent point. Being in college, I’ve watched so many odd things occur. A girl walked around in a bikini in 20-degree weather, a group of boys walked around in costumes every Friday, and a girl throw up all over herself and pass out on the stairs to the dorms. Though these things are stupid, these are stupid things we can only do at our ripe age. Because once we throw that cap in the air, stupid things are no longer allowed. But the same deal goes with relationships. We date around until we find the one, we want to be with. In the meantime, while we search for “the one”, we enjoy the benefits of being single. Aka doing whatever the fuck we want.
I actually spoke to an old acquaintance of mine, Carson. Carson and I went to different colleges and is a friend of a friend. Though I do not know him that well, he actually just got out of a bad situationship himself. We had a heart-to-heart over our failed situationships recently. But Carson had a different way of looking at things than I did.
He explained: “On one hand, I’m sad things didn’t work out between her and me. I really liked her, but she wasn’t ready for anything serious. But on the other, I’m glad. If I’m not dating anyone, that means I can do whatever I want when I want. I don’t have to text her and tell her who I’m with, where I’m at, and so forth. I can just do my own thing.”
Carson and Miguel’s words of insight lead me down to a final conclusion. Young adults do not want commitment because that would force them to change so many things about their current lifestyles. Nobody likes change, especially ones that cause drastic swings in everyone’s day-to-day life. Dating someone officially means that you can no longer only think about your own wants and needs, but your partner’s too. Nights with the girls/boys decrease, hooking up with whoever you want ends, and there’s even the horrifying idea of introducing them to your family and friends. These things in themselves are enough to make some people run away from a committed relationship. But naturally, we crave physical intimacy. So, it is better to keep things physical and not to let feelings get involved. Feelings are real, and feelings are terrifying. That’s why situationships exist.